Online dating hard
I've learnt this from my own dating experiences where it would often trigger anxiety.I worked out why this was happening and I'll explain it in a future post I'm already working on.(There's something to add the geography NCEA curriculum am I right? Scientists at Queen Mary University of London, Sapienza University of Rome and Royal Ottawa Health Care Group studied the behaviour of Tinder users and found women generally only swipe right (yes) for men they're seriously interested in, while men are less picky.They found only 7% of male matches sent a message compared to 21% of women.From childhood, men have been brought up to be fierce competitors, to opt for the most risky jobs, to put themselves on the line, to accept rejection “like a man” and to always make the first move.This product of social conditioning rears its ugly head online even more so, as an average of seven men compete for the attention of one woman.
Over the course of our four hour catch up of brunch, numerous decaf coconut milk lattes, long blacks and later beers we worked out we had dated the same guy at the same time and he did something pretty shitty to both of us. Confession, the story starts with me going on two dates in one night.
I later discovered it was because he lived with his ex, also the mother of his child.
He wanted to take me out for dinner a week later, it was a really lovely evening until he took me to his work function.
The study found most women use dating apps to find a long term partner, whereas most men like the instant gratification of a match, a boost to their ego and then get on with their every day life without pursuing things further. I don't know about you, but I find it hard enough keeping up with txts, emails, all of the social media apps on our phones let alone the added admin of messaging people on dating apps.
When I've been on Tinder in the past I'd have quick swipe for five minutes then turn it off. (Shame you don't want people seeing you on there.) Then 'ping ping ping', multiple matches and messages and I would look at them and think 'Oh FFS how am I going to reply to all of these?
You try having all these hormones and emotions 24/7. I find using dating apps and dating uses a lot of energy, which can seem wasted on something that's not going to eventuate.